By Peter A. Levine Ph.D., Director,
Foundation for Human Enrichment

With Maggie Kline, M.F.T., School Psychologist,
Long Beach Unified School District

How to Use This Audio-Learning Set

It is suggested that you first listen to the two audiotapes without your child. This will give you a broad idea of the nature of trauma in children, and provide you with various things that you can do to help prevent traumatic symptoms from developing in children after stressful events. It also explains how to help children regain balance and resilience after traumatization. Next, it is suggested that you read the provided parent’s guide as a review and so that you will know how to best use the final section of the program (tape 2, side B) to help guide your child with the spoken rhymes and fold-out pictures. Finally, to offer the best support for your child as you work with the rhymes, it is important to take time to study the verses and the corresponding instructions prior to listening together. This way you will be ready for the various possible responses from your child – and better in control of your own reactions.

Acknowledgments

I wish, first of all to express my deepest appreciation to the children and infants who have taught me so much of what I know and how I work as a therapist. I owe much gratitude to my friends who have helped and encouraged me along the way. Particularly, I wish to thank Lorin Hager and Maggie Kline for their essential help and creative input. Without you guys this project wouldn’t have come together in the way that it did. And Juliana, do Valle, thank you for the fantastic artwork. If what you are doing at age 11 is any indication, you are well on your way to a promising career and fulfilling creative life. Great job! Also, thanks to my producer, Michael Taft, and the other great folks at Sounds True for their trust in this project and for their continued enthusiasm and professionalism. And finally, I thank you, the parents, who have taken the time and efforts in promoting the welfare of your children – both seriously and lightly. You are helping them to be the best human beings that they can be.

Peter A. Levine Ph.D.

Purpose of This Parents’ Guide

This guide is to help you get the most out of this learning program. In the aftermath of potentially overwhelming events[1], remember that youngsters are usually able to rebound and return to balance when given appropriate support and assistance. The ability to heal is innate, making the adult’s role simple: it is to help children access their own natural ability to recover. This is similar in many ways to the function of a Band-Aid, or a splint. The Band-Aid or splint doesn’t heal the wound, but protects it, and supports the body in restoring itself. When appropriately guided, children will grow stronger and will have an increased immunity from the effects of future potential traumas. The suggestions provided here are meant to enable adults to be good “Band-Aids” for their children.

How to Give Appropriate Support to Children:

To be supportive with children it is important to let them know that the often powerful emotions they are having (i.e., sadness, anger, rage, fear, and pain) are OK; that these feelings are normal under the circumstances. Children are comforted and empowered by the knowledge that what they are experiencing is time-limited, and that it won’t last forever. They should be encouraged to move through their feelings but never be rushed. Patience and pacing gives your child permission to be authentic no matter what they are experiencing. This acceptance and respect sets the conditions for the child, in his/her own time, to rebound to a healthy sense of well being.

The importance of the adult’s calmness cannot be overemphasized. That is the reason this learning program includes an exercise specifically to help you to develop a more acute awareness of the sensations in your body. You may wish to use this exercise more than once. When a child has been hurt, it is normal for the adult to feel scared or shocked. Because of your own fears and protective instincts, it is not uncommon to respond initially with anger, which can further frighten the child. The goal is to minimize, not compound, feelings of fright, shame, embarrassment and guilt the child is likely to be experiencing. Remember, the best antidote is to tend to your reactions first. Allow time for your own bodily responses to settle rather than scolding or running anxiously, towards your child. Think about it this way: if you were about to undergo surgery, imagine how you would feel if the doctor was noticeably nervous or spoke to you angrily because you accidentally fell and knocked over his instrument tray? Your child will benefit most from sensing that there is a calm adult in charge, centered, accepting and able to keep him/her safe.

How to Use The Guided Rhymes (Recorded on tape 2, side B):

Suggestions for when to pause while reading the children’s rhymes and stories are noted after certain verses. This allows children ample time to experience, through their bodies’ sensations, specific elements that relate to recovery. These include:

1) sensations of empowerment, such as strength and grounding

2) sensations of “fight or flight”, as in defense and escape;

3) sensations of “freezing” and of “collapse,” including stiffness and weakness.

4) sensations of discharging excess stress energy, such as shaking, trembling and crying.

5) sensations of relaxation and openness.

Pauses can be inserted whenever it feels appropriate. Follow your child’s lead! She/he will show you either interest or an avoidance reaction. Some passages may be more specifically relevant to your child and can be used more than once. There is not one right way to use this learning program. It is meant, however, to be used with an adult and not by the child alone, because an important element in healing trauma is connection. Isolation can perpetuate traumatization. Be creative, play with your child, and above all it’s fine to have fun!

How to Use the Rhymes/Stories to Prevent and Heal Trauma:

The animal rhymes and illustrations in this program were created for use with children from 3-11 years of age, but may appeal, as well, to youngsters slightly older or younger. Since animals are non-judgmental and instinctual, their images can be powerful resources to help children connect directly with their own innate healing process without getting distracted by the more human judgements of shame and blame.

Note: Trauma is prevented and resolved through the ‘language’ of sensations. For example sensations of tightness/constriction and loose/open are common polarities. This is not a language we are accustomed to using in daily life. Therefore, the following list provides the beginnings of a sensation vocabulary. Feel free to keep this vocabulary list growing as you and your child read the verses together.

cold/warm/hot/chilly    shaky/trembly/tingly    relaxed/calm/peaceful

dizzy/fussy/blurry       twitchy/like butterflies   hard/soft/stuck

flowing/spreading      numb/prickly/jumpy      sharp/dull/itchy

The rhymes and images begin with a simple empowering exercise to help connect the child with their own bodies through nature. Here’s an example (you may want to show your child the extended j-card for tape one, illustration 1):

Pretend you’re a tree with your branches so high

That you can reach up and tickle the sky.

What’s it like to be strong like a big old oak tree?

With roots in your feet and your leaves waving free?

Now you're connected to the earth and the sky

It may make you laugh, it may make you cry.

It doesn't matter when you go with the flow

With your branches up high, and your roots way down low.

Hear the breath in your body, if you listen it sings

Now you are ready for whatever life brings.

Note: Pause here, giving your children time to stand up, stomp and explore their connection with the ground and their resilience as the wind blows their leaves and branches.

Animals provide children with the sense of power they need to transform trauma into a positive experience. For example, when they chase away the scary sabertooth tiger with their spears, youngsters will feel the strength in their bodies to defend themselves against threat (please refer to the extended j-card for tape one, illustration 2):

Now it’s time for you to pretend

That YOU live in the wild with family and friends

Feel the strength in your legs and the spear in your hand

As you chase the Sabertooth over the land.

Can you feel it right now, that spear in your hand?

What’s it like when you throw it, where does it land?

Throw it right now, WITH ALL that you’ve got

Feel the power in your arm, like a giant slingshot.

Feel the power in your legs, it grows as you run.

Your legs are strong and jumping is fun.

Do you get the feeling your legs are like springs

When you chase a tiger, or other big things?

NOTE: This might be a good place to pause again, allowing time for children to experience the powerful feelings in their arms and legs as they pretend to chase the Sabertooth Tiger. You might have them jump or run in place or you can suggest that they imagine a time they felt their body’s strength and power. Ask your children to describe these feelings. The idea here is not merely for your child to run or visualize running, but rather to take sufficient time to notice the sensations in their own muscles, heart, breath, and so on.

Rapid T. Rabbit will help children engage their innate “flight” resources, which

will enable them to feel the power, exhilaration, and the crucial energy discharge of a successful escape from danger (please refer to the extended j-card for tape one, illustrations 3 and 4):

Rapid moves quickly, with a jig and a jog

With a zig and a zag, then she hides in a log

Coyote is clever, Coyote is tough

Coyote is fast, but not fast enough.

Have you ever had to run fast and escape?

Can you feel your legs, their strength and their shape?

You have a body that’s healthy and strong.

You can jump high and you can jump long.

NOTE: Here’s a good place to allow time for children to deepen the sense of their body’s power and add the element of the sensation of escape. If enough time is spent in feeling their bodies’ instinctual forces, children develop self- esteem that comes from their core. This kind of confidence remains with children even under stress because it has become an automatic ‘motor memory’, like riding a bicycle.

In the next rhyme, children get the chance to experience what it feels like to be safe inside their bodies:

Now you have come to a safe hiding place

Take a deep breath because you won the race

How does it feel in your tummy and chest

Now that you’ve found a safe place to rest?

NOTE: It might be good to pause here, allowing your child to point to that safe place inside of themselves. Again, have them describe what it feels like.

Occasionally, children may have sensations that seem to stay stuck, such as a pain in the tummy or a feeling of heaviness in the chest. To help these feelings release, have your child focus on the sensations, with eyes open or closed, for a minute or two. Gently ask if the “owie”, “rock”, “pain” or whatever has a size, shape, color or weight:

If you pay attention to the places you point to and name

Does it change how they feel, or do they stay the same?

If they stay the same, here’s what you can do

To help the stuck feelings move right out of you.

You might want to close your eyes for a minute or two.

See if there’s a color or a shape you can name.

As you watch it closely, it becomes like a game.

Your feelings may move from place to place

Watch the fear go without leaving a trace!

Note: Allow sufficient time between questions for your child to quietly process sensations. Next, guide him/her to the present moment by asking how the “owie” feels now? Continue until you notice the “stuck energy” beginning to open up by listening to your child’s body language and words.

The “freezing response,” or “playing possum” is a very important survival mechanism. When children can’t fight or run, they freeze. However, this instinctive behavior is often judged by humans to be cowardly or weak. The Oscar Opossum verses have the purpose of letting the child know that their behavior is not only normal, but smart. When youngsters listen to the story of how Oscar Opossum outwits Charlie Coyote by pretending to be dead, two things will be accomplished. First, the “freezing response” will be seen as positive and empowering; secondly, the identification with Oscar’s ability to come out of his frozen state without fear of his own bodily reactions can help them move through their own frozen states without feelings of fear or shame (please refer to the extended j-card for tape one, illustration 5):

Oscar escapes, you see, by lying quite still

Not like the rabbit who runs up the hill

Oscar has all his energy BOILING inside

From holding his breath to pretend that he died.

Can you pretend that you’re Oscar, rolled up in a ball?

You’re barely breathing, and you feel very small

It’s cold and it’s lonely as you hold on tight

Hoping Coyote will not take a bite.

NOTE: After this next verse the child may ‘open up’ with their true feelings and thoughts about overwhelming experiences that they may have had:

Do you remember ever feeling this way?

You wanted to run, but you had to stay

Were you scared, were you sad, did it make you feel mad?

Can you tell what you felt to your mom or your dad?

NOTE: Allow sufficient time for children to share their feelings with you here.

In the next verses, we see Oscar moving through the ‘freezing response’ by allowing the involuntary shaking. It is crucial for you to understand that this response is normal and helps to discharge the ‘stuck’ energy, allowing the nervous system to return to equilibrium:

Oscar Opossum, he has to lie low

But inside his body, he’s ready to blow

When Charlie Coyote finally takes off

Oscar Opossum gets up and shakes off.

See Oscar tremble, see Oscar shake

Just like the ground in a tiny earthquake

After he trembles and shakes for a while

He feels good as new, and walks off with a smile.

Verses like the “bowl of Jell-O” will also help children experience their body sensations without becoming unduly frightened. Through this heightened body awareness, the discharge of energy necessary to return things to normal can occur safely and playfully:

Now make believe someone gives you a jiggle,

Then you start to shake, and tremble, and wiggle.

Can you pretend you’re a big bowl of Jell-O?

Red, purple, green, or even bright yellow

Things that can scare you:

In the next section, “Things that can Scare You”, there are 6 couplets listing common events that can significantly frighten children. It is important to monitor the child’s reaction and pause as each couplet is read, or you can stop the tape at any time and let the child talk and feel, or draw pictures, play with clay (for example if the child becomes agitated, restless or unusually silent).

1) Did you ever get lost at the mall when you were little, and lonely and small?

2) Maybe you went for a car ride and out of the blue another car crashed right into you

3) Could be you were sick then along came a nurse when you saw the needle it made you feel worse!

4) Maybe one day you were playing around, when a big earthquake came and shook up the ground.

5) Or during recess, the game was a blast then the school bully shook his fist as he passed!

6) They stitched up your knee so you’d be good as new it hurt a lot, and the doctor scared you!

A girl named Dory:

In the next section is a story centered on specific events. “A Girl Named Dory” is about a fall off of a bicycle. By watching and listening, parents, teachers, and other adults can use these stories to determine whether a child might be “at risk.” If so you can help them make up stories or simple rhymes customized to your own child’s needs (please refer to the extended j-card for tape two, illustrations 1-5):

On her last birthday this girl’s dream came true
She got a new bike that was bright shiny blue
She jumped on the bike and rode down the block
Faster and faster, then the bike hit a rock.

She felt the wheels skid, and she flew off the seat
And then she landed real hard on the street
She hit the pavement with a big thud
Then she noticed that her knees were covered with blood.

If a child identifies with some of Dory’s reactions to the fall, the likelihood is that some similar event occurred to them. Generally speaking, the procedures outlined below can be used to help master and heal the effects of past traumas as well as be used for “first aid” for more current ones.

Remember:

1) Take a moment to observe your own internal reactions first. (This is assuming that there is no imminent danger.)

2) Focus on these physiological and emotional responses until YOU settle and have a sense of relative calm. (This is what the airline stewardess tells you to do if emergency depressurization occurs in flight: to put the oxygen mask on yourself first and then attend to the child sitting next to you.)

3) Pay attention to your child’s bodily responses and words.

4) Validate your child’s bodily responses by not interrupting the trembling, shaking or tears that are a normal part of coming out of shock. (As with Oscar Opossum.)

5) Support these reactions by demonstrating your acceptance through word and/or touch. For example, put one hand on your child’s shoulder, arm, or middle of the back. Use a reassuring voice to say a few words, such as, “That’s OK”, “It’s all right to cry… feel angry…etc;” or “Just let the shaking happen”.

6) After the trembling, shaking or tears stop, validate your child’s emotional responses. Let him/her know that whatever they are feeling is okay and you will stay with them and listen to them. Resist the temptation to “talk them out” of fear, sadness, anger, embarrassment, guilt or shame in order to avoid your own uncomfortable feelings. Trust that your child will move through them supported by your acceptance of his/her authentic self.

How to Help a Traumatized Child

The above information outlines “first aid” to prevent traumatic symptoms immediately after an event. When helping your child move through symptoms developed from an earlier experience, you can use drawings, stories and play to elicit movement of residual trauma energy that may be stuck. Generally the adult needs to tell the story of what (they believe) happened, then invite the child to add their version. Sometimes it is best to use a different name for the child in the story. This may help initially to give needed distance from the event. You may also want to reintroduce your child to ordinary objects or experiences that remain “charged” because they in some way remind the child of the incident that overwhelmed them.

After an automobile accident, for example, the infant or toddler’s car seat could be brought into the living room. Holding the infant in your arms, or gently walking with the toddler, you can gradually move towards it together and eventually place the child in the seat. The key here is to take “baby” steps, watching and waiting for responses such as stiffening, turning away, holding their breath and heart rate changes, for example. With each gentle approach to the avoided or fear-provoking encounter, the same 6-step procedure outlined above can, again, be used as a guide. The idea is to make sure that your pacing is in tune with your child’s needs so that not too much energy or emotion is released at once. You can tell if this is occurring if the child seems to be getting more “wound up.” Calm them by offering gentle reassurance, touching, holding, rocking etc.

If your child is preschool or school-aged, she/he can make a drawing or play with toys, showing for example how the cars crashed together. For some children the feel of Play Dough helps them to be in touch with their aggression and with their bodies in general as they mold this soft material. A younger child may be likely to express his/her feelings in colors or crude shapes and “blobs”, rather than specific pictures or objects.

Whether art materials or toys are used, it is important to monitor and help minimize repetitive behaviors because repetition can reinforce, rather than resolve, feelings and symptoms. When they seem ‘stuck’ (for example crashing the cars into each other over and over), have the child pause after a moment or two and check-in to find out what they are experiencing in their bodily sensations and feelings. The idea is to gradually allow the energy from these feelings to release, guiding the child to a more successful outcome. These same techniques can be used with artwork by asking the child to describe the sensations they feel as they share their drawings or sculptures with you. The guideline here is not, so much, to elicit a story, but to have the child sense and discharge any residual trauma energy and in some way complete what was incomplete.

Puppets, dolls or miniature toy play figures can also be useful in assessing if any trauma indications exist, and can help your child move through them. For example, when a child’s physical body has recovered after a surgery, a miniature bed and play figures that include a child, mom, dad, doctor and nurse can be given to the child to play with. Watch your child’s reactions closely. With the suggestions you learned in this program, gently guide your child to sense their body’s reactions and release any uncomfortable feelings.

Falls:

When working with falls, big soft pillows can be helpful in giving your child the opportunity to practice falling safely. With your hands to support them securely, gently guide a slow fall, pausing if they seem to stiffen or startle. It’s often best to start with them sitting and gently rock them first from side to side and then forward and backward. Then they can ‘fall’ into your supporting arms and onto the pillows when standing. All of this helps to develop good protective reflexes and restores confidence. You can use your child’s favorite stuffed animal to help, by creating a scenario similar to the child’s real experience, such as a teddy bear that’s fallen out of the high chair. Once again, watch your child’s responses closely. Always leave them with a sense that they can succeed giving them only as much support as they need. Be creative. Use your imagination. Follow your child’s lead. And when in doubt: WATCH, WAIT and WONDER!

FINAL NOTE:

If your child develops trauma symptoms and these symptoms persist, it is strongly recommended that you seek help from a competent child therapist who specializes in trauma. You can not make a better investment in your child’s well being.

Remember: Trauma is a fact of life. But, it doesn’t have to hurt forever.

Appendix

There are certain kinds of events that are overwhelming to almost any child. These include the exposure to violence, such as a robbery, kidnapping, molestation and school-shootings. Sadly, these kinds of events are in the realm of possibility for too many children today.

In addition many children have suffered sexual abuse, sometimes from neighbors and even members of their own family. These instances are far more complex requiring professional help. If you have any reason to suspect this has happened, please seek competent help promptly for your child and family.

Other events may not seem traumatizing to an adult. However, to a child, depending on their age, size and other factors, many seemingly ‘ordinary’ events (to us) can have a lasting-though not always obvious effect on your child. These include:

a) Being attacked by an animal (e.g. dog bite).

b) Being lost (e.g. at the mall) for a young child.

c) Natural disaster such as fires, floods, earthquakes, storms especially tornadoes and hurricanes.

d) Automobile and bicycle accidents, falls, and other physical injuries.

e) Medical procedures, especially with general anesthesia when the child is frightened-and away from his/her parents. Also, high fevers and life threatening illness all have the potential of being traumatic.

f) Extremes of temperature; hot or cold-particularly when left alone.

g) Sudden loss, as with the death of a family member and, often, divorce.

h) Near drowning-can even happen in bathtub.

Remember, if any of these things has happened to your child, it does not mean that they will, necessarily, be traumatized. A few minutes spent with your child in an appropriate way can, not only minimize the chance of lasting effects, but actually make the child more resilient to life’s stresses and later extreme events.

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[1] See appendix p.16